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Julius Caesar Brown and the Green Gas Mystery

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The world is passing green gas — Julius Caesar Brown must stop the global gas crisis!
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Sales price: $3.99
Sales price without tax: $4.50
Discount: $-0.51
Rating: 5/5
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Author: Ace Hansen
Description
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Also available in print

Genre  MG Humor

Release  July 12, 2013

Tags  Green gas, bullies, tree house, million-dollar prize, zombie lady, farts, first love, friendship, mystery, middle grade, tween

Cover Designer  Charlotte Volnek

Pages  140

ISBN  978-1-77127-364-0

Price  $4.50


Back Cover

When a mysterious green gas crisis breaks wind, the Global Air Group (GAG) offers a million-dollar prize to the first person to discover the cause. Julius Caesar Brown dreams of winning the cash so he can pay off Jake the Snake, the blackmailing bully who threatens to ruin his chances with the cutest girl in fifth grade. But Julius can barely pass a math test, let alone solve an international scientific mystery. What he needs is money. Fast. His mom volunteers him to help the Zombie Lady. Yeah. The crazy woman down the street who every kid knows eats boys’ brains. But Miss Crabtree’s no zombie. And winning the million-dollar prize may not be as far-fetched as Julius once thought.


 

Excerpt

Head plastered to the cracked vinyl seat of Dad’s old jeep, I gripped the door’s armrest. We rushed to the hospital, gas pedal to the floor. Tires screeched around every corner. I knew what Mom would be shouting if she were here. “Slow down, Sean! This isn’t the Indy 500.”

A siren wailed. In the rearview mirror, I caught a glimpse of blue and red lights approaching fast behind us. “Dad, um, I think we’re being chased by the police.”

“Oh great. Just what we need.” Dad pulled to the side of the road. He swore just loud enough that I heard and lowered his window.

Gravel crunched beneath the feet of the officer. Metal jangled with each step. I couldn’t take my eyes off the gun in his holster.

Augie stopped crying and stared wide-eyed at the stout policeman who leaned in through Dad’s window. “What’s your hurry, Mister? I clocked you going fifty in a twenty-five. I’ll need to see your license and registration.”

Dad fumbled to find his wallet. “I’m sorry, Officer, but we’re on our way to the emergency room. My son, is…well, my son is very sick, sir.”

The policeman peered into the back seat. Augie stared back at him with his innocent eyes.

“Is that a real gun?” I pointed to the policeman’s holster.

He ignored my question. “Which one of you is ill?”

I pointed to Augie who burst into tears again.

“What’s the matter with the little guy?” asked the policeman.

“Um, he’s got, um, green gas, officer,” Dad explained, his face turning as red as the superhero on Augie’s footed pajamas.

The policeman frowned. “You pullin’ my leg?”

“No, sir, I’m dead serious.”

“Show him, Augie.” I patted my brother on his little blond head. “Let ’em rip.”

Augie scrunched up his face and pushed hard.

Nothing. If Augie couldn’t make green gas, would Dad get arrested? “Come on, Augie. Try harder,” I said. “Do you want me to pull your finger?”

Dad cleared his throat. “That’s enough, Julius.”

We all stared as Augie tried his darndest to let loose a whopper. Beads of sweat formed on Dad’s forehead. He glanced at his watch. I imagined Mom would be having fits while she waited at the hospital. The officer had just started to write out a ticket when the back seat rumbled.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT.

Augie smiled wide as he let loose the loudest, smelliest, greenest gas of the day. I plugged my nose and gave him a thumbs up.

The policeman’s eyebrows almost flew off his forehead. He quickly apologized and offered to escort us to the hospital. “Follow me.” His belt and belly jingle-jangled as he raced back to his patrol car.

“Cool.” Dad peeled off the shoulder of the road and squealed onto the pavement. I gripped the seat. Time for a wild ride.


 

About the Author

Ace Hansen doesn’t pass green gas. The author grew up in a household of boys and knows all about deadly stinkers, tree houses, and scary neighbors.

     Ace enjoys all kinds of creepy things and has been known to devour entire bags of worms* while writing outrageous fiction.

*Gummy, of course. What were you thinking?

EMAIL     WEBSITE    

 

Reviews

Sunday, 03 November 2013
I must begin my review of this book a little differently BECAUSE of how it affected me. I have spent much of the last year in a level of pain the doctor who will be operating on me come Monday, tells me should have me down on my knees whimpering at the top of my lungs. I have a high tolerance for pain, but even so, this has not been an easy year...however...JULIUS CAESAR BROWN AND THE GREEN GAS MYSTERY allowed me to LAUGH!

What a gift you have given me, Ladybug Lin, Ace Hansen by creating this rollicking, super funny story that SAYS for the middle grades, but thankfully found its way to me.

Humor really IS the best medicine when one is wracked with pain. Okay, I'm not cured...hopefully that will take place on Monday, but I can't begin to express the level of blessing laughing over the antics of Caesar, his town, and eventually the entire world has when a pandemic of green toots takes over.

What is causing a world-wide breakout of green...gas? Is it dangerous? NO. Embarrassing? Without question. Imagine being the principal, sitting all stern faced and ready to reduce the quivering student before you with your narrow eyed punishment when the area behind you wafts green and that silent but deadly can't be blamed on someone else?

How Julius Caesar Brown solves his own accidents so no one will see?

One calamity after another kept my sides splitting, my lips parted because of non-stop giggles, and my mind too busy sailing along on the humorous tide of Caesar's valiant attempts to out live The Gas .

I always WILL love this book. Thank you Ms. Hansen from the bottom of my heart for writing such a fantastically funny book.

FIVE STARS for both book and author.

This is one Ladybug who cannot TOOT the laughter horn loudly enough for Ms. Hansen's delightful book JULIUS CAESAR BROWN AND THE GREEN GAS MYSTERY.
Lin Holmes

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