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A Short Story by Kelli Key Genre: Contemporary Erotica Romance Release: October 28, 2011 Editor: Nancy Bell Line Editor: Greta Gunselman Cover artist: Suzannah Safi Words: 9957 Pages: 32 ISBN: 978-1-927085-84-4 Price: $2.50 Back Cover: Shianne is making the transition from a teenager to an adult but it doesn't go as smoothly as she hopes. Her mistakes can take away her freedom and her chance at a love. Is there a rainbow at the end of the storm? Excerpt: My boots make a squishing sound and I stop. Oh gross, I'm ankle deep in cow excrement. That's right. Shit. If there's one thing worse than the smell, it has to be walking through it, or so I thought at the time. I would learn later falling in it is far worse. I literally wade through puddles of excrement and out into an even larger open area filled with black and white cows, big squares of ground up straw, and large cement bunks filled with what looked like regurgitated grass. “You start by raking the manure out of their beds, and then add a bale or two of fresh straw from behind the barn.” Ben points to the squares, where many of the cows are lying down chewing bubblegum. Okay, it looks like they are chewing gum although I never do see any of them actually blow a bubble. Maybe cows can't blow bubbles. It doesn't make sense to me to chew gum in the first place if you can't blow bubbles, unless of course you have really bad breath. I can only assume a cow's breath is pretty bad, judging by what comes out the other end... I frown. Cows crap in their beds. God! Even my little brother never pooped in his bed, he peed in it for a couple of years though. “So, I scrape the...shit, from the beds, that's it?” He grins and I think I should have kept my big mouth shut. “You also need to shovel the holding area into that pit there, but wash the holding area and the milking parlor down with the hose first. Okay, it doesn't sound that hard. Like I said, I should learn to keep my big mouth shut. With a final grin he says, “I'll check on you on my break. Have fun.” He saunters off. I have never been so close to calling someone an asshole as in that moment. Fun? Fun is riding the roller coaster at the fair, dancing to the latest rock and roll record, or hanging out with friends. Shoveling shit does not qualify as fun. I get over it and head for the parlor. The water is cold, but the job itself is not so bad. I don't mind spraying everything down, it's kind of satisfying to get everything spic and span. The hose takes some getting used to; it’s not your usual little garden variety but a big fire hose type thing. It’s stiff and heavy and, as I discover, hard to hang onto if you turn the nozzle on full blast. By the time I finish the parlor and move on to the holding area, I'm not having such a bad time blasting the watery manure down the grate in the floor. After I finish washing, I head for the cow beds. Most of the big animals get up and hurry away as I approach, but a few of them turn to stare at me. I have to admit, they make me nervous. I remember my dad telling me animals can tell if you’re scared of them. I wouldn't say I'm scared of cows, I just have a very healthy respect for them. Very healthy. So there I am, minding my own business when I sense something behind me. Just before I turn around I feel hot breath on the back of my neck. As I spin around, heart pounding in my chest, I come face to face with the biggest cow on the planet. I'm not sure whether to be frightened or just grossed out. Big snot stringers hang from the cow's nose as she sniffs my shirt. I stand there, trying to decide what to do when she swings her head and snots on me. I scramble backward, forgetting the bed area is raised six inches off the main floor by a concrete lip. Before I see my folly I end up flat on my back in three inches of cold, gooey shit. Next thing I know I am surrounded by big, snotty, slobbering black and white beasts. Panic makes my vision blur and my heart race. Holy shit! Okay, not literally, but I am in trouble now. I assume cows are herbivores but I'm really not sure. I'm lying there, trying to decide what to do when suddenly the cows scatter. Through the shit splatter I see Ben approach. He stops in front of me, hands on his hips. His shoulders are shaking and I realize he's trying to keep from laughing out loud. What a jerk! I fail to see anything funny about someone else's feces oozing into my underwear. “Need a hand?” When he extends his hand to help me up I seriously think of snubbing him, but I figure the least I can do is pay him back. His facial expression doesn't change as I place my hand in his, complete with crap coating, and I wonder if perhaps he's used to being covered in grossness. Once I regain my footing his silent shaking turns to gut busting laughter. |
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Elixir is fantasy at its best. Katie Caroll draws us into her world with ease, her well-polished writing style and flow holding us captive until the end. I especially liked the relationship between Katora and her sister Kylene, obviously drawn from real life. I can't wait to read the sequel.
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Joy Smith pulled me into the story on the very first pages. Fast moving, first I hated Victor, than I love him, than I hated until I loved him. And Marisol with her guarded heart had me hoping throughout that she'd open it again to love.
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Ms. Smith writes believable, flawed characters that I wound up cheering and caring for on each page. I can't wait to read her next book. Goodreads Reader Review - Five Stars
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"...murder, mystery and intrigue..plus did I mention our hero is a witch? Tex and his best friend Olivia are brilliant characters, really well written and I love tex's dad. Can't wait to read more about tex in the future! -Amazon Reader Review
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I really enjoyed the twists and turns of the plot of this novel. From Annabelle putting her life in danger when running away from Boarding School where she has lived since the age of five to her tenacious pursuit in finding clues as to her origins.
She is rescued by Roland, who is too much of a gentleman not to help the intriguing young lady. I relished the suspense of the reciprocal desire between Roland and Belle which is thwarted by misunderstanding after misunderstanding and prevents them achieving mutual fulfilment. The reader yearns for the truth to replace the false pretences and for Roland and Belle to overcome each other's prejudices.
Rosemary Morris' major and minor characters spring to life. I sympathised with Annabelle and found Roland charming. Apart from this, Rosemary's great attention to every aspect of the Regency era is impressive.
False Pretences is a ripping read and I look forward to reading this author's next novel. - F.Way- Amazon Review